The Life of a Broken Heart
by Harriet Potter1
Summary: All evil has a reason. Some hate, and some love. In Peter Pettigrew's case, both. [summary inside]
1. Default Chapter

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS TOWARDS HARRY POTTER BOOK THREE! (Prisoner of Azkaban) Don't read unless you have finished #3. Sorry for any inconvenience.  
  
Summary:  
  
Well, we all know Lily and James…. ::sniff:: died. We all know it's Peter's fault. But. . . why? Oh, you'll see. . . you'll never think of Peter, or Lily, or James the same way again after reading this. You'll have a certain sympathy for Peter after this. This is most certainly not a Pro-Pettigrew fic. No. You'll just have to stick around and see exactly what it is. Chapter one will be up in about 1-3 days. 


	2. Inside Peter's Mind

Lily Evans. She's perfect. She's beautiful. She's smart. She's kind. She's my best friend's girlfriend. It really is unfair. James uses her as an accessory, or so I suspect. James is the infamous heartthrob every school has. He's a sports star, he's handsome, he's mischievous, he's. . . I don't hate him. I do anything but hate him. I want to be him. I envy him, that's all. Somehow I think everyone that knows Lily envies him.  
  
It took me a long time to realize that every day I've been staring at her in the Great Hall. Of course, I always knew that I liked her, maybe loved her, but I never knew that I actually expressed it. Sirius knows. He figured it out. I never told him, I never told anyone.  
  
It's just my luck that Sirius of all the Marauders figures it out. Sirius is the, well, boy of the group. He tells everyone's secrets, gives us all noogies and screams random statements when things are "two quiet".  
  
The Marauders has every type of person. There's Sirius, the boyish heartthrob, Remus, the quiet, bookish heartthrob, James, the sporty ringleader heartthrob (and the only one with an actual girlfriend, Remus and Sirius have many, many admirers they just happen to kiss and, in Sirius's case, bring to bed. Remus blushes when the subject is brought up, but is fairly easy, judging by the amount of girls in his bed monthly.) And there's me, the tag along who girls step away from. Not that girls matter much. There's still air to depend on living off of.  
  
As Lily sits there on James's bed, "helping" him with his Charms homework, James was only staring at her, not caring at all about the homework. I can't blame him, of course. She comes to the boy's dorms every night, in her Hogwarts nightgown, to bid James goodnight. He usually has her in here to help him with his homework anyway, and then Sirius, Remus, and I copy his.  
  
She's so gorgeous, especially when she smiles. But that smile isn't for me. The beauty isn't for me. It's for James. Why James? Why him?  
  
She whispers enchantments to herself, helping herself do James's homework. Her eyes are tired, yet they have that spark to them that she has only when they are together. Lily and James. Mr. Perfect, and his perfect girlfriend. It's nauseatingly sugarcoated. It's completely unrealistic. I hate to know what she'll feel like once she gets to reality, without James. Merlin knows they won't make it together. She was his first girlfriend, he's not always going to be as charming as he is to her. One day he'll realize he's used to her, and she's used to him so he doesn't have to fake it anymore, and he'll be just another guy, dating a worthy-of-more girl. He'll no long be that prince perfect, top hat wearing, (A/N: not, not literally) grinning, flawless, charming boy he pretends to be.  
  
She quietly says goodnight to James, then Sirius, then Remus, then lastly, me. As usual. I return a goodnight to her, and she smiles, then walks out. She has to be nice to me, because I'm a friend of her boyfriend. I mean nothing to her. But soon I will. Soon enough. And I don't care who I have to step on to get to her.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Alright, then. It's not all going to be like this. This angsty commentary without any dialogue. I promise you. It will get better. Please, please, please review and keep reading. Thanks for taking your time! By the way, I realize I don't have a disclaimer, but I will next chapter. 


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